how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
