nut hugger
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
