my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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