ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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