Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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