I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
