I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
