So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
