so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
