Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
