Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
