Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
