Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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