im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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