Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
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Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
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We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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