whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We have so much sex to catch up on
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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