pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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