Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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