I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
