Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
