Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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