Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize