i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Randomize
