I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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