can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
