I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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