There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
