Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize