I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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