why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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