you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
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