Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize