ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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