Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Vodka?
Forever.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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