dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
