I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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