we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
