You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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