I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
