you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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