I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
