Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
