ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
love makes seman taste better
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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