I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
