Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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