Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
