heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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