How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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