Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
