I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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