For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
