I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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