she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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