He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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