I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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