Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
