My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
