I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
