so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize