I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
