and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
