She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
