I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
