My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
high people should be assigned attendants
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
