kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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