She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i need some magic done to my vagina
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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