That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Send help, water and tortillas.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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